this is about the first online journal i've had.. and i usually just use Microsoft word for my thoughts etc... i always feel so much better just writing down my thoughts and troubles etc..

but recently i've always wanted someone to comment on it.. sometimes i send it to a close friend to read... or i just comment on it myself. but my boyfriend got me to use this site.. so i thought why not? it'd mean that i write down my thoughts / troubles.. AND i get people commenting on it!

 what i've always wanted!

but once i posted it i left it a few hours.. and then i read it back to myself.. and i realised how i portray me and my boyfriend..

 i honestly do like him a LOT.. and i hate that things come between us.. usually its the game we play.. he's a lot better player than me.. apart from the few mistakes he makes! but i do have my ways of playing it.. and we clash a fair bit..

but in the end we both realise that its a game.. and that us together is real life... so which should be believed more? of course! real life!!

when i went to stay with him, all my friends wanted all the info when i got back.. but i was too happy to say anything!! my next door neighbour was shocked and thought i'd be bouncing off the walls with information.. well i was.. but i just didnt know how to say it.

he made me more happy in that 11 days than i have been in a long time... ive been having troubles at work.. but he made me forget that..

i felt so comfortable with him everything was like i wished it would be. 

i dont know if he always felt the same way, and im sure i annoyed him being on the computer, talking to family, friends.. etc..

i dont regret not doing many touristy things.. i suppose it just means i have to go back again and again..

it was nice spending time with him and being different time than usual..

although he took up over half the bed!! it was nice to have someone next to me to cuddle in the morning when i wake up.. besides my teddy bear!!

i liked pampering him when he got ill.. i went to the shops to get him some of my home remedies.. and i missed him lots..

he brought me some nice chocolates that i am still unsure of eating.. i've had some.. but i dunno.. their too nice and i want them to last as long as possible.. because then i guess i can remember how i got them for longer..

i could go on for hours but i dont think i should!! but i just wanted to Retract my last post, as i do love him.. and i guess i was just a little upset.. x